I love goals. I happen to love lists. My lists love lists. It just fits so nicely with my ESFJ personality. The problem is, I tend to put more on myself (and others) than what's reality. I add "weights" to my life."
For a while I've felt so heavy. Like each day was just harder and harder. I realized that I was looking more and more forward to bedtime than I was rising in the morning. In my journal I wrote, "My run has gotten heavy. It's like I'm running with weights. More things, more responsibilities, more lists... I feel like I'm carrying about 500 lbs. right now, and my race has stopped."
I was sitting in Starbucks the other day, and read from Hebrews.
Hebrews 12:1-2 "
I realized that there was a separation between weights and sin. Both can entangle. But weights could be good things, sin is definitely not. I started wrestling with the text, and ended up listening to two of John Piper's sermons on the text.
Then I made a list. (laugh now) Actually I made two lists. I made a list of "Weights" in my life and sins that cling closely to me. What I noticed is the things that I labeled "Weights" could be summarized as "Life," or the race itself. Is it possible that my race/life could be a weight that prohibited me from running well?
Yes! I'm trying to do so many
Weights are not bad, actually they make you stronger. As a Christian, I'm not supposed to carry those weights. It is my job to lay down, grab onto Jesus by the cloak, weep at His knees, trust in His steps, and FOLLOW! He leads, He carries, I obey.
1 Timothy 6:11-12 "But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you mad the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
Scriptures like that have the potential to weigh me down more. I see commands I want to obey. 1 Timothy 6:11-12 sound like great New Year's Resolutions if you ask me. BUT, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to please God on my own. I can not obey His scriptures and commands perfectly. Only He was able to come to this earth and live perfectly, die perfectly, and lead perfectly.
The story that I most relate to in the Bible is the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was "distracted" or "busy about so many things." Mary, "Sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching." Jesus' reply to Martha when she grumbled to Him was profound. Honestly, it was painful.
Luke 10:41-42 "Martha, Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things, but ONE thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."
This year I resolve to run hard with my eyes on Jesus and sit at His feet and listen to His Words.
The rest will be carried for me. He will get the glory. The victory is His. The joy is mine!