Happy New Years!

Each year I contemplate New Years Resolutions. The best I've found were written by Jonathan Edwards in 1723. 

I love goals. I happen to love lists. My lists love lists. It just fits so nicely with my ESFJ personality. The problem is, I tend to put more on myself (and others) than what's reality. I add "weights" to my life." 

For a while I've felt so heavy. Like each day was just harder and harder. I realized that I was looking more and more forward to bedtime than I was rising in the morning. In my journal I wrote, "My run has gotten heavy. It's like I'm running with weights. More things, more responsibilities, more lists... I feel like I'm carrying about 500 lbs. right now, and my race has stopped." 

I was sitting in Starbucks the other day, and read from Hebrews.

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."


I realized that there was a separation between weights and sin. Both can entangle. But weights could be good things, sin is definitely not. I started wrestling with the text, and ended up listening to two of John Piper's sermons on the text. 

Then I made a list. (laugh now) Actually I made two lists. I made a list of "Weights" in my life and sins that cling closely to me. What I noticed is the things that I labeled "Weights" could be summarized as "Life," or the race itself. Is it possible that my race/life could be a weight that prohibited me from running well? 

Yes! I'm trying to do so many good great things, things that glorify God and bring Him honor, but I'm trying to do them in my own strength! I've realized over and over again that I am not as strong as I like to think I am.  Truth is, I'm weak. The reality is, I can do NOTHING, on my own or in my own strength. That's why my race has come to a screeching halt.

Weights are not bad, actually they make you stronger. As a Christian, I'm not supposed to carry those weights. It is my job to lay down, grab onto Jesus by the cloak, weep at His knees, trust in His steps, and FOLLOW! He leads, He carries, I obey. 

1 Timothy 6:11-12 "But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you mad the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

Scriptures like that have the potential to weigh me down more. I see commands I want to obey. 1 Timothy 6:11-12 sound like great New Year's Resolutions if you ask me.  BUT, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to please God on my own. I can not obey His scriptures and commands perfectly. Only He was able to come to this earth and live perfectly, die perfectly, and lead perfectly. 

The story that I most relate to in the Bible is the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was "distracted" or "busy about so many things." Mary, "Sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching." Jesus' reply to Martha when she grumbled to Him was profound. Honestly, it was painful. 

Luke 10:41-42 "Martha, Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things, but ONE thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

This year I resolve to run hard with my eyes on Jesus and sit at His feet and listen to His Words. 

The rest will be carried for me. He will get the glory. The victory is His. The joy is mine!