Night of worship...

Martie and I "Crashed a party" last Sunday night. We were going to visit our friend Rainey at the hospice center. He has been battling a frustrating disease called cancer for a while now. As we pulled up I told Martie there were probably going to be a lot of people because it was Sunday. As we walked into the main doors of the lobby we noticed people everywhere and lots of food. We were escorted to the nurses desk and asked if we were staying for the party. "Ummm, what party? We didn't know there was a party." Then we saw Rainey being pushed down to the party. We decided to stay just a bit and say hey.

I'm still not sure the details of the celebration. I just know that it was organized by one or two of the churches that Rainey plays music for and attends. The people there were so kind and begged us to eat and drink something. We spoke to several people. It was neat to see all the different people that Rainey and Laura have impacted in some way. God has used them in many areas.

Soon after everyone had food and talked for a bit, everyone gathered for worship. This was definitely the highlight of the evening. To see two people who have been through so much, worship their Lord together really does something to you. It causes you to worship. See, through the trials, through the sicknesses, God is still God. He is still in control and has a plan for everything. Rainey and Laura believe that and trust in that plan.

                                       

Martie and I both knew that it was ordained from God that we "Crashed the party." We not only got to visit with our friends, enjoy some food, but we got to worship. We worshipped with people we didn't know, we worshipped with people from other denominations, we worshipped the one and only true God who is worthy to be praised! Our friends Rainey and Laura still need our prayers. See, God is not finished with them yet. He still has a plan. We are praying for a miracle. In the end we will still thank God and trust in His plan.

But for that one night I got a taste, a small glimpse of heaven. Oh, till we worship face to face with our Savior, without sickness, without sin! Until then, come Lord Jesus, come!

Nope, not me....

Because it is that week of every month that I struggle with sin more than other times....

I did not wait until my kids were asking for breakfast before I got out of bed, I always get up before them and get my heart and attitude right before the Lord first.

I was NOT ill, ill, ill at anyone who looked at me this morning because I always, "Take every thought captive."

I did not scrub my kitchen first thing this morning, because I would never find THAT therapeutic.

I did however give all my boys haircuts this morning, but I did not grumble under my breath when my husband promised a water fight when we were finished. I always support fun and messy activities that support creativity.

Because I always get up before my children, I did not wait until 11:45 to get in the shower.

I got back in town from my mom's retreat on Sunday. I of course unpacked everything as soon as I returned. Therefore, I did not forget to put deoderent on today because it's not in it's "normal" place.

I also did not forget to put my contacts in today.

I was not rushing out the door to not be late to my CC Essentials training today. I always leave with plenty of time to arrive and be settled early. That is not when I realized I didn't have my contacts in.

I did not keep going anyways and decide to just swing by CVS and grab some deoderent. No way, I have a strict routine of getting ready.

I did not grab a Pepsi Max for lunch while at CVS. I made sure I had a well balanced lunch with my family before I darted out the door.

I AM NOT typing this as I'm sitting in my CC Essenitials training. I always pay close attention and find it very rude when people are distracted by things like silly blogs.

NOPE NOT ME!

Intolerable behaviors....

Our social worker came today for our last "Official" home visit. She looked through the house and talked with all the children. It was a very nice and encouraging visit. During the time here she asked a very good question that left me thinking,

"What behaviors would you say were intolerable?"

I don't think Martie and I fully understood what she was wanting at first. I said that we would expect all behaviors, while Martie said sexual abuse. Then she clarified. "What behaviors would we not accept in our home." To state it more bluntly, what behaviors would you send a child back for doing?

We both assured her that we expect the child/children that come into our home to have issues. (Physical, sexual, emotional..) Sin is sin. These children have lived with or been exposed to most of it. Most of them don't know what unconditional love is and they are going to push and test just to see if we "Pass the test." There will be a honeymoon period and then they/we will get comfortable. We will have to trust in the Lord EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! 

Some children that are in the system now have been known to be fire starters, abuse animals, play with their feces, abuse sexually... I strongly believe these and other behaviors are a reflection of what lies within the heart.  I am convinced the real problem is hidden there. Fortunately, we know the Great Physician, Jesus! He is a/the heart surgeon. 

There was a time in my own life where I did what was only pleasing in my own eyes, without concern for others. Boy, am I glad that Jesus tolerated my behaviors while preforming heart surgery on me. Did He like my decisions, was He happy with the way I was living my life? NO! But He was patient, loving, kind, compassionate, humble, and forgiving. He opened my eyes to my need for Him. He performed open heart surgery on me. He took my cold and hard heart and changed it into something much greater than I could ever imagine. 

Will parenting a child with a broken past and intolerable behaviors make me want to quit? Maybe. But I hope and pray that I ALWAYS remember the cross. I hope I never forget how much of my own sin that He took upon the cross. Then, just maybe, I'll be patient, loving, kind, compassionate, humble, and forgiving just as He.