3 dreaded words...

It is cancer.

Silence.

Gulp.

Breathe

Grab your notebook and pen, listen, write down everything he is saying.

This happened Wednesday, June 3. Exactly. I sat in a tiny room, more like a closet, with my sister, my mom, her fiance, a doctor, and a nurse. After those words, it was pretty much a blur. I remember scribbling all the big words, we asked for the pathology report, and tried to hold back the tears. Within a few minutes, we had the news. Mom has Invasive Adenocarcinoma (Ductal), breast cancer.

This is not the club I wanted to join.

We've been here before...both my grandmothers, both Martie's grandmothers...

But not with our own parents. We're too young. Our parents are too young.

Nonetheless, this is our new reality. It's been almost 2 weeks since the diagnosis. It's becoming more real. After sitting through multiple doctors appointments and numerous tests, our life has been forever changed.

To lessen the heartbreak would be injustice. To pretend that I was not afraid would be a lie. I was broken. I am scared. I've fallen to my knees, literally, numerous times.

Why???

I do believe strongly that God does not like disease. He doesn't like sickness, hunger, war, or DEATH!

This is not the way He designed it. It is good for us to grieve these bad things. However, the Bible tells us He will use "ALL things for the good of those who love and who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 

I also know that  we are to "Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3

I'm reminded in Romans 12:12 to "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

This cancer has changed things, no doubt. BUT, it has caused me to pray more, love Him more, and trust Him more. He is God, He is all powerful, He is sovereign. There is no other! I will praise Him. Each morning I will command my soul to bless the Lord, even when my body doesn't feel like it.

Jesus, loved us so much that while we were sinners, Christ came and died for us. Therefore it is my pleasure, as His daughter, to be an imitator of God, "And walk in love, and as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us." Ephesians 5:1-2

We will get through this, for sure. The goal now is to bring Him most glory through it all.