God is good!
Not only because He has blessed us with another child. He is good in all things! This baby is just another reason I praise Him. There are a million emotions running through me right now. (anticipation, excitement, joy, sadness...) I want to truly enjoy these last 24 hours with my baby safe inside me. What comfort it brings me to feel those kicks and turns. Sure I've done my share of complaining this pregnancy. It is not easy. Oh, but the blessing. It's amazing how quickly you forget all the bad or uncomfortable moments.
God is good!
I don't always understand why God does the things He does. Why did He bless me with 6 children? Why are there women that can't have babies? Why are there women who have difficulty staying pregnant? I don't know. It breaks my heart to think of those friends. BUT, I don't question God. His plans, His purposes are perfect. I know that He is the creator of life, and only He is in control of opening and closing the womb. That brings me peace.
God is good!
I have a lot of anxiety about tomorrow. This will be my 5th C-section. Those details are for a later blog. I hate surgery. However, God has used my deliveries to show me that I am NOT in control. I can honestly say when I'm in surgery it's the one time in my life that I feel completely helpless. I don't have anything to do with anything going on. I am completely in the hands of others. For someone who struggles with control issues (sin) this is very difficult. Most women would blame Eve about now, however I can relate to her struggles (sin). Who am I to say that I would not have fed the fruit to my husband? Whatever happens tomorrow morning, no matter the complications or lack of complications...
God is good!
I will miss this feeling. Yep, all those things I've complained about, I'll miss them. The first time you see that precious baby on the ultrasound, the heart beating, the flutters, when you can see hands, toes, a face on the ultrasound, the forceful kicks that keep you up... I am always amazed to see the different stages of pregnancy. It brings true meaning to the verse: Psalm 139:13-14 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works..."
God You are good!!! (and my soul knows it well)
When I became a Christian (in my 20's), God completely changed my view on children. I no longer believe the world's lies that children are a nuisance, they hold you back from your own hopes/dreams, you can't have more than 2 or 3, you have to have super powers to have more than 2 or 3... God has given us each one of our children to raise for His glory. My children are not "my" children. He has loaned them to me for a very important purpose. He enables me to teach them, to train them, to love them... He uses them to sanctify me. My "hopes/dreams" are different now. I am thankful that my life doesn't stop here on this earth, this is merely the race. My reward is Jesus, my eternity is with Him! Then I will rest, I will worship, I will truly live! "I'll stand by what I said and I'll say it again, I don't want to raise successful children. Because --- raising God-honoring adults who will set the world on fire for Christ is just so much more rewarding." -Lysa TerKeurst I love that quote, and I believe it! I know that's strange, but if my kids grow up to become famous, rich, successful but don't know Christ then I have failed. I pray that whatever path my children pursue they realize that is their ministry. God has them where they are for a reason. I pray my children love Jesus more than anything in this world. I hope they too can ignore what the world tells them and do crazy, radical things for God.
I know this post is very random and does not flow in thought. But remember, I am having a baby tomorrow. Today I can still use that as an excuse for being totally random. ;-)
Today I am going to enjoy these last hours of bringing another little blessing into this world. Tomorrow I am going to pray for everything I need to raise another Mangum baby for His glory.
Psalm 94:19 "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul."
Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. 2He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD.
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