Broken

I am writing this blog and sharing my thoughts only with the hopes that it might help someone else.

I am an imperfect wife.
I am an imperfect mother.
I am an imperfect daughter.
I am an imperfect friend.
I am an imperfect teacher.
I am an imperfect cook.
I am an imperfect couponer.
I am an imperfect blogger.
I am an imperfect house-cleaner.

I procrastinate.
I am inconsistent.
I have an imperfect tongue.

I am an imperfect follower of Christ.

BUT GOD....
(that was the first thing that came to my mind when I had all those thoughts)

Ephesians 2:4-9- "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

That's it, I'm imperfect, but HE is perfect. He loves me and died for me and my imperfections. I like to appear perfect, you know, like I have is ALL together. I like to pretend, I even teach my children how to pretend.

Let's take today for a good example. We've been planning on getting our family pictures taken. Well anyone with a large family knows how difficult that can be. I have literally been praying about it for days. My mother in-law made the girls dresses, I made Tabitha a pretty bow to match, and I even got a haircut. I wanted this picture to be perfect. That's not too much to ask is it? I worked so hard to make us all look perfect, I waited until the last minute to put the picture clothes on.

Well we got ready to take our pictures and guess what, one of our "little blessings" didn't want to take his picture. Remember, all I want is ONE good picture with everyone looking and smiling. (it would also be great if we were standing straight, our clothes were not bunched up, and my hair wasn't in my face) That's not TOO much to ask is it??? I want to appear perfect.

Well the reality is, I'm not perfect. Neither is my husband and neither are my children. So for us to take a "perfect" picture is IMPOSSIBLE. That is just something I am going to have to live with. But how did I react to the imperfections? That's the real question.

I would like to tell you that I didn't let the picture fee bother me, or the nice couple that took the time to take our picture, or our extended family that was being so patient. I would like to tell you that I excused myself and my "little blessing" and addressed his heart. I would like to tell you how I reminded my "little blessing" that we are to be a blessing. I would like to tell you that I didn't get so frustrated that I could hardly smile myself.

BUT, I would be lying. I got frustrated, I spoke unkindly, I was impatient. I was so consumed with the "perfect picture", that I ignored sin. See, the root of my sin is selfishness. This day was all about me and what I wanted. When one imperfect person let me down, I reacted. Now that I have taken a step back, I am repenting. I can't wait to show you all my imperfect pictures. (hahaha)

Today, I was so concerned with a picture, that I allowed sin to enter in and take over. Not only did I allow sin to take over, I didn't see what damage I was doing to my witness. (to my children and others) Today I wanted to "play God." Well, God reminded me tonight that HE is God, and that He is working. I need to get my armor on and stop letting sin entangle me.

Ephesians 2 reminds me of who I am and my job here on this earth. Ephesians 6 reminds me that we are at war. I forget that, I avoid thinking about that. It scares me!

BUT GOD.....

1 Corinthians 1:26-31-"For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; 27but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29so that no man may boast before God. 30But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.”

Here I am Lord, broken. But trusting in You for everything.