6 years ago

I can't believe it's been 6 years. December 28, 2004 my first son was born. Ethan Joel Mangum. Ethan (Strong, Firm) Joel (The LORD is God) Ethan was a super easy baby. He was never fussy, slept well, and overall happy.

They took Ethan to the nursery after I had him, because I ended up having a cesarean delivery. It was hours before I could hold him or nurse him. It was a nightmare. Because of that time, none of my babies leave me after delivery now. Martie pretty much stands his ground and does not let them take our babies. (you have that choice whether or not you know it)

When I did hold him and nurse him, it was absolutely perfect. I fell even more in love. The Lord used Ethan to grow me up in the Him. (as well as He has with each one of my children) With Ethan my view for more children changed. I never imagined us with a "large" family. I also started debating whether or not I should work outside the home. I owned my own business at the time.

So what is Ethan Joel like now?
Granny used to look at him and say he's going to be a genius. Well, I would have to agree. :) Ethan is very smart. He talked in sentences very early. He asks lots of questions. You can watch him and just see his mind going. I guess you could say he is a "thinker."

He's reading very well now. He's not that excited about it, unless it's a Star-wars book or something else he's interested in. He loves math and it comes very easy to him. I remember him adding numbers before I was even doing a "formal" math with him.

He still has beautiful blue eyes. His hair has darkened up a bit, but it's still sandy blond. Pa used to say he got his eyes from him. But, he looks a lot like my brother. Either way, Martie and I always said we would love to have a blue eye, brown hair baby. We just didn't think it was possible.

Ethan is growing into a responsible little boy. He will do his chores, and do them well. He will even go beyond his chores to clean something extra. He has a little obsessive compulsion. ;) He likes perfection. Hopefully God will use that to make Ethan more like Jesus.

He can be shy. He doesn't like the attention on him. Which can be difficult. (especially with family pictures) haha It can also be difficult if someone is trying to give him a complement.

Ethan loves his brother and sisters. Every time Taylor leaves now, he cries. He just goes to his room and lets out the softest sweetest cry. (it breaks my heart) He protects his little sisters, and entertains them for me at times. I can now trust him to keep an eye on them for me, so that I can do a chore. Andrew is his best friend. As I type this, they are playing Star-wars in their room. I hear them plotting out and giggling. (sweet sound)

Ethan loves to cuddle with me. He has always loved to crawl up in my lap with covers and just sit. He will look at me at the most random times and say, "mommy I love you."

Ethan, you are my favorite Ethan in the whole wide world!!! Happy 6th Birthday son!

The 12 days of a Large family

Living out our faith

I hope and pray this post encourages someone to live radically for Jesus.

I am often frustrated with the lack of commitment that Christians have to corporate worship. First let me define corporate worship. This is a time where believers in Christ come together with the sole purpose of worship. (there can be a time of worship through music, prayer, preaching, communion...)

Hebrews 10:24-25 says that we should "Consider how to stimulate one another to love and goods, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

Now this is a difficult subject to speak on. Especially because I am a "pastor's wife." You may say that I don't understand. I am married to someone who's whole life is serving within the church. But please give me the opportunity to appeal to your heart as a fellow believer, who has not always been a "pastor's wife."

I remember asking my husband not too long ago, "If someone is not consistently coming to worship with the church, is that a reflection of their personal worship time with the Lord?" I also wonder if we do not make it a priority to pray with the church, do we make it a priority to have personal prayer time?

Looking at the Hebrews verse above, we are commanded to come together with the church. I am confused at how I see in other countries Christian brothers and sisters walking miles in uncomfortable situations sometimes dangerous situations to gather with other believers. Yet, we here in America treat Sunday mornings or prayer services as something else on our schedule. We can come up with so many excuses. Yet there are people who would do or give anything to gather with other believers for the sake of worship.

It is mine and Martie's conviction to train our children to treasure that time with the church. Recently there was a big swim meet that was taking place on a Sunday morning. (what a temptation that was for Taylor and us) We had to stand firm that Sunday mornings were for worshiping the Lord with other believers. If we are out of town on a Sunday, we find a bible teaching church to attend.

I do not want you to be confused. Attending a worship service is not where your faith rests. Your faith should be in Christ alone. However I do believe that the time that you invest in serving your church body, worshiping with the church body, and encouraging the church is an outward sign of your faith.

James 2:14-17 "What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself."

Today was the first time in 3 weeks that I was in the service. (I had to teach one Sunday, Carissa was sick the 2nd, and I filled in for someone the 3rd) I cannot begin to tell you how I was encouraged, challenged, and refreshed to sit under the preaching and teaching of God's Word. I am reminded of my greatest purpose here on earth. Loving God with everything in me, and sharing Him with everyone else.

When I miss the service, I will listen to the sermons online. I need that instruction and training in God's word. If I want to live for Him, if I want to be faithful to Him, then I NEED that. I am a sinner, and I struggle constantly with sin. I need God and His word. I don't care HOW tired I may be, I don't care what the week looked like, I don't care what things try to distract me I NEED to gather with the church.

2 Tim. 3:16-17 reminds me "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; SO THAT the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." I thank God that I have a pastor who loves the Lord more than anything, and who loves the church, who wants to reach the nations for Jesus, and who wants to see the people of God become radical followers of Christ.

Merry Christmas!

Here are a few of the pictures that I talked about in my last post. :) Enjoy! (Can you guess which one of my "blessings" did NOT want to get their picture taken?)

Broken

I am writing this blog and sharing my thoughts only with the hopes that it might help someone else.

I am an imperfect wife.
I am an imperfect mother.
I am an imperfect daughter.
I am an imperfect friend.
I am an imperfect teacher.
I am an imperfect cook.
I am an imperfect couponer.
I am an imperfect blogger.
I am an imperfect house-cleaner.

I procrastinate.
I am inconsistent.
I have an imperfect tongue.

I am an imperfect follower of Christ.

BUT GOD....
(that was the first thing that came to my mind when I had all those thoughts)

Ephesians 2:4-9- "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

That's it, I'm imperfect, but HE is perfect. He loves me and died for me and my imperfections. I like to appear perfect, you know, like I have is ALL together. I like to pretend, I even teach my children how to pretend.

Let's take today for a good example. We've been planning on getting our family pictures taken. Well anyone with a large family knows how difficult that can be. I have literally been praying about it for days. My mother in-law made the girls dresses, I made Tabitha a pretty bow to match, and I even got a haircut. I wanted this picture to be perfect. That's not too much to ask is it? I worked so hard to make us all look perfect, I waited until the last minute to put the picture clothes on.

Well we got ready to take our pictures and guess what, one of our "little blessings" didn't want to take his picture. Remember, all I want is ONE good picture with everyone looking and smiling. (it would also be great if we were standing straight, our clothes were not bunched up, and my hair wasn't in my face) That's not TOO much to ask is it??? I want to appear perfect.

Well the reality is, I'm not perfect. Neither is my husband and neither are my children. So for us to take a "perfect" picture is IMPOSSIBLE. That is just something I am going to have to live with. But how did I react to the imperfections? That's the real question.

I would like to tell you that I didn't let the picture fee bother me, or the nice couple that took the time to take our picture, or our extended family that was being so patient. I would like to tell you that I excused myself and my "little blessing" and addressed his heart. I would like to tell you how I reminded my "little blessing" that we are to be a blessing. I would like to tell you that I didn't get so frustrated that I could hardly smile myself.

BUT, I would be lying. I got frustrated, I spoke unkindly, I was impatient. I was so consumed with the "perfect picture", that I ignored sin. See, the root of my sin is selfishness. This day was all about me and what I wanted. When one imperfect person let me down, I reacted. Now that I have taken a step back, I am repenting. I can't wait to show you all my imperfect pictures. (hahaha)

Today, I was so concerned with a picture, that I allowed sin to enter in and take over. Not only did I allow sin to take over, I didn't see what damage I was doing to my witness. (to my children and others) Today I wanted to "play God." Well, God reminded me tonight that HE is God, and that He is working. I need to get my armor on and stop letting sin entangle me.

Ephesians 2 reminds me of who I am and my job here on this earth. Ephesians 6 reminds me that we are at war. I forget that, I avoid thinking about that. It scares me!

BUT GOD.....

1 Corinthians 1:26-31-"For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; 27but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29so that no man may boast before God. 30But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.”

Here I am Lord, broken. But trusting in You for everything.

Learning the history behind Thanksgiving...

I took the children to the Eno today to do some "school" outside. My dad lives right near there, so we were blessed to have him join us. This morning I started reading Pilgrim Voices. We did geography at home. We looked at several maps and traced out the path the pilgrims traveled.

The Tee Pee was the first stop. Andrew has been begging to go. Our family loves hiking at the Eno. We then searched the area for sticks. We made a toy that children in the 17th century used to play with. Then we made a bow and arrow for Taylor, Ethan, and Andrew. They also enjoyed walking on the logs, digging up a brick, and they spotted two deer.

Then we set off for the "real" hike. Ethan was so awesome protected his mommy and sisters. He used his bow to hold back the vines for us. We stopped a couple of times and I read some more from Pilgrim Voices. I will continue to read this all week. Science was done by discussing which trees were Deciduous trees and which were Coniferous trees.

We hiked some pretty tough trails, and the kids all did wonderful. It was so beautiful. Fall is becoming my favorite season. I love all the beautiful colors of the leaves. Romans 1:20 says, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." Just looking at His creation gives me reason to worship.

We got to the end of the trail which lead back to where we started. My dad knows these trails forwards and backwards. (it's one of his favorite places) As many times as my most "graceful" child (Tabitha) fell, she didn't bleed until the very end. She tripped over a little rock and skinned up her elbow. :( I cleaned her up, put on a band-aid, and she was off again.

We had a little time left, so I had the boys collect some leaves and we did a little math. :) I was able to squeeze in all subjects and have so much fun doing so. The kids all slept well in the car on the way to the Y. Long day but so worth it. I am so thankful we were able to spend this day outside, with beautiful weather, and with my dad.

Happy 13th birthday Taylor!

Wow! 13 years old! Really??? Yeap, it was exactly 13 years ago today that I had my first baby girl Taylor Alise. I was only 20 years old and totally clueless. I think that's why God granted me the most perfect labor and delivery. I remember waking up around 5-6 in the morning because my water broke. I got to the hospital and began laboring. I had a completely natural labor and she was out by 3 that afternoon. It was truly a "perfect" labor!

I checked out of the hospital the next day, right around 3. I remember being showered and packed sitting on the bed ready to go home. The nurse kept telling me, "We have to wait for the 24 hour mark." Oh wow, how things have changed for me.

The next several days/weeks were another story. Remember, I said that I didn't have a clue. I tried to nurse. But after being up almost all of one night, I cried, and asked for a bottle. Thank God I was living with my dad at the time. I remember him asking, "Did you sterilize bottles?" (Ummmm, no)

I eventually went back to school and back to work. Having Taylor, was a real wake up call. At one point I was working 3 jobs and going to hair school. It makes me so sad that I wasn't at home with her all the time. But at that time I had to do what I had to do, to support me and Taylor. I knew that I wanted to do things "right" for her, but I was still clueless. I did start taking her to church on Sundays. I remember praying earnestly in that church that God would save me, that He would change me, and that He would give me a husband.

Taylor was a huge part of my testimony. God used her to save me, I am sure of it! There is so much more I could share to prove that. I met Martie in 1999. Taylor had just turned 2. He was not "walking" with the Lord. (but he was perfect to me in every other way) I remember asking him to go to church with me. He went, reluctantly. I asked if he had a "problem" with God, and he told me no he just didn't like my church. (huge relief)

We started the search for a church together. That's how we ended up at Cresset. It was "perfect" for us. I liked the music, he liked the preaching, I felt accepted in this church. (which unfortunately was difficult as a single mom) They had a outreach thing one night and Martie and I both rededicated our lives to the Lord. We met with the pastor to marry us. During that time of appropriate "courtship," Martie read the bible and prayed like never before. God grew both of us in a major way.

We were married July 2002. Martie was an answer to a prayer. Taylor was in our wedding and even had special vows with Martie in the ceremony.

It is amazing to see all that Taylor and I went through, to where we are now. God has been so
gracious to us. I often feel so sad for Taylor because she has experienced so much change in her life. I know that God will use her testimony one day. She has grown to become a beautiful young lady. She is so caring and giving. She is not the world's typical "teenager." She is different! Praise God!

To Taylor: I love you baby girl. I learned so much from you. I continue to stand in awe of you and your walk with the Lord. I pray that He continues to mold you and shape you into the image of Christ. I pray that everything you do will be for His glory. He is using you and is going to use you in the lives of many. You are such a great sister and daughter. We are so proud of you!